
Being empathetic and deeply caring about the well-being of others may be central to your identity. When our care for others exists alongside a deep respect for ourselves, being caring and generous feels like an authentic expression of who we are.
However, people-pleasing or self-abandonment involves habitually going against our true emotions, needs, or boundaries to serve others or meet external expectations. In the process, we may dismiss our own needs, often attacking or shaming ourselves for having them.
Understanding the Function of Self-Abandonment
The origins of people-pleasing are unique to each individual. You may have had experiences where you felt you needed to perform a role for others to receive love, support, or emotional safety. To explore your relationship with people-pleasing, ask yourself: What is the function of self-abandonment in my life?
Did it help you preserve the connection with an overburdened parent?
Did you avoid adding to family conflict?
Were discussions about emotions and needs avoided in your home?
The Consequences of People-Pleasing
People-pleasing can leave you feeling disconnected from your authentic self, cutting you off from feeling empowered, grounded, and at ease. It may lead to resentment and loneliness as you struggle to express your true self. We long to be known, but expressing ourselves genuinely may feel daunting. Some may fear that expressing their needs will cause others to withdraw, while others may struggle with identifying what their needs truly are.
Reclaiming Authenticity Through Therapy
You may have felt you needed to sacrifice your authenticity to be accepted for a long time. In therapy, however, you no longer have to choose between the two. Therapy provides a space where you can explore your authentic self while feeling accepted and understood. It supports you in reconnecting with your true self, allowing you to care for others without abandoning your own needs or values.
Are you ready to reclaim your authenticity and live in alignment with your true self? Book your free 20-minute consultation today, let's work together to support you on your journey to greater emotional and mental well-being. I offer virtual therapy for clients in Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia.
Warmly,
Hannah Peirce
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