From Self-Doubt to Self-Compassion: Learning to Trust Your Emotions

Many people struggle with questioning whether their emotions are "valid." You might ask yourself, Am I overreacting? Do I have a right to feel this way?—only to end up dismissing your feelings or waiting for external validation to confirm they are real. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Self-doubt around emotions is common, especially for those who have received mixed messages about their feelings throughout their lives.

Why Do We Doubt Our Feelings?

There are many reasons why someone may struggle to trust their emotions. Some of the most common include:

• Early Messages About Emotions – Growing up, you may have been told you were "too sensitive" or that certain emotions, like anger or sadness, were not acceptable. Over time, this can make you second-guess whether your feelings are legitimate.

• Comparing Yourself to Others – You might think, Other people have it worse, so I shouldn’t feel this way. But emotions don’t work on a scale—your experiences and reactions are real, even if others have different struggles.

• Fear of Being “Too Much” – If you've ever worried about burdening others with your emotions, you might downplay them to avoid making people uncomfortable.

• Need for Certainty in Emotions – Some people feel the need to justify their emotions with logic, believing they must have absolute certainty before allowing themselves to feel a certain way. This can lead to overanalyzing emotions, searching for undeniable proof, and struggling to trust feelings that don’t come with clear validation.

Emotions as Information, Not Judgment

One of the most important shifts in thinking is recognizing that emotions are not something to be “right” or “wrong” about—they are simply signals from your inner world.

Your emotions provide insight into what matters to you, what feels safe or unsafe, and what your needs might be. Instead of asking Is this emotion valid? try asking:

✔ What is this feeling telling me?

✔ What do I need right now?

✔ Have I felt this way before in similar situations?

By shifting from self-doubt to self-inquiry, you can begin to engage with emotions as a source of understanding rather than a problem to be solved.

How to Start Trusting Your Emotions

If you find yourself constantly questioning or dismissing your feelings, here are a few ways to rebuild trust with yourself:

• Practice Noticing Without Judgment – Instead of labeling emotions as "good" or "bad," observe them gently and with curiosity. Oh, I feel anxious right now. I wonder why.

• Validate Yourself First – You don’t need permission to feel something. If you’re sad, you’re sad. If you’re frustrated, that feeling is real. The goal isn’t to justify but to acknowledge what is happening internally.

• Track Your Emotional Patterns – Over time, you may notice that certain emotions show up in specific situations. This can help you better understand what your feelings are pointing to.

• Work With a Therapist – If self-doubt around emotions is deeply ingrained, therapy can be a space to explore these patterns and learn how to trust your inner experiences more fully.

Self-Doubt to Self-Understanding: Making Space for Your Emotions

Learning to listen to and trust your feelings is a process, but it starts with acknowledging them without immediate dismissal. With time and practice, you can shift from questioning your emotions to recognizing them as valuable guides in understanding yourself.

Ready to Explore Your Inner World?

If you're someone who struggles with emotional self-doubt and long to feel more grounded in your feelings, you're not alone. I offer virtual therapy for adults across Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia—creating space for self-compassion, reflection, and growth.

Book a consultation, and let’s take that first step together toward a more mindful, authentic you.

Warmly,

Hannah Peirce

Psychotherapist/Social Worker