An important part of our identity formation is the freedom to explore different interests and dreams, thereby finding paths that align with our whole selves. But what happens when we are raised in homes where safety is emphasized above all else? In these homes, safety typically entails following a predetermined life plan: excelling academically, obtaining a job with a defined career path, getting married, having children, and so forth. This strict road map offers limited opportunities for exploration outside the traditional path that is anticipated of us.
Being children of immigrants can make it challenging to question the path that has been set for us. Questioning our parents may sometimes be interpreted as disrespecting our parents' sacrifices, which can trigger feelings of shame and guilt in us. We often feel a great amount of respect for our immigrant parents, who often arrived alone to begin a new life in a different part of the world. We understand that their primary and fundamental requirement in life was safety, which was crucial for establishing stability in a foreign land.
However, we also have a longing to lead a life that is satisfying and true to ourselves. Delving into our desires and wants can be both exciting and anxiety provoking for us, as it might create tension in our relationships.
Exploring our deepest desires and needs while reflecting on our upbringing and cultural heritage can support us in embracing the elements of our families and cultures that provide us with a feeling of belonging and resilience. This process also enables us to recognize the aspects that we may wish to release in order to regain a sense of freedom from constraints and feelings of detachment in our lives.
Warmly,
Hannah Peirce
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