Feeling Lost? Some Thoughts That Might Help You See This Time Differently

hannahpeircersw
16 minutes ago
2 min read

Illustration of a young biracial Asian woman sitting by a window at night, appearing thoughtful and introspective—perfectly capturing the feeling of being lost or uncertain. Soft lighting and calm tones reflect self-reflection and emotional exploration

There are moments in life when everything can feel unclear—your direction, your purpose, even your sense of self. You might find yourself thinking, I don’t know who I am anymore, or I don’t know what I want. This sense of feeling lost can be disorienting, even frightening.

In therapy, I often meet people who are moving through this exact fog. And while there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, I want to offer a few reflections that might help you hold this time with more gentleness.

Feeling Lost Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing

When it seems like everyone around you knows what they’re doing—what they stand for, what drives them—it’s easy to feel like you’ve fallen behind. You might think, I’ve never had passions, or I should know by now who I am.

But what if feeling lost isn’t a sign that you’re broken—but rather an indication that something inside you is shifting? This time might be less about answers and more about allowing space for new awareness to emerge.

It’s Hard to See What’s Familiar

Sometimes the reason you can’t “see” who you are is because you’re living it—it’s the air you breathe. In my therapy work with clients to notice patterns: how you tend to move through the world, what pulls your attention, what brings even a flicker of energy.

You might already carry the seeds of what matters to you—it just hasn’t been named or noticed yet.

Discovery Often Comes Through Doing

Finding yourself isn’t just an intellectual process. It often involves trying things—making decisions, meeting people, doing things you end up loving or disliking. Contrast helps clarify.

That discomfort when something doesn’t fit, or that small lightness when something does—those emotional cues are worth paying attention to. They might say more than logic ever could.

You Are Not Behind—You’re Evolving

It’s easy to believe there’s a timeline you’re supposed to be following—that by a certain age, you should have things figured out. But identity isn’t something you arrive at once and for all. Who you are is something that continues to unfold across your lifetime.

Rather than being a sign that you’ve failed or fallen behind, feeling lost might be a sign that you’re outgrowing old definitions of yourself. This may be a time to pause, to listen inwardly, and to gently stay with the questions rather than rush toward the answers.

If You’re Looking for Support

If this place of not-knowing feels particularly heavy right now, you don’t have to navigate it alone. I offer online therapy for adults and young adults across Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia, specializing in supporting those struggling with: