
Do you often feel uncomfortable in social interactions or worry about what others think of you? In this post, we explore practical Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques that can help you manage anxious thoughts that fuel social anxiety.
We all have an inner voice that sometimes judges or criticizes us. This inner critic can have a significant impact on our self-esteem and confidence in social settings. The inner critic may cause us to anticipate things going wrong or believe we won’t be able to cope in social situations. But the good news is, we can learn to change this internal dialogue.
Identify the Negative Predictions of Your Inner Critic
What types of negative predictions is your inner critic making? Does it hold beliefs like "I’ll say something stupid" or "Everyone will judge me"? Understanding these thoughts is the first step toward breaking free from their grip.
By becoming aware of your inner critic, you can start to choose a different voice—one that is kind and compassionate.
Challenge Your Anxious Thoughts: Get Specific
Anxiety often feels vague and overwhelming, but one of the most effective CBT tools is getting specific. Try asking yourself:
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
“What do I really think will happen?”
“Who exactly do I think is going to judge me?”
By verbalizing your worries, you reduce their power and create space to challenge them. Once your fears are more concrete, they can be easier to address.
Reframe Worry-Related Thoughts
Once you’ve identified your specific worries, the next step is to reframe these worry-related thoughts into more realistic and balanced ones. For example, if your thought is, “I’ll say something stupid, and everyone will think I’m an idiot,” you can reframe it by asking yourself, “Have I ever said something that didn’t come out perfectly, and people still responded kindly?” or “Would I judge someone else so harshly for making a simple mistake in conversation?”.
This helps you recognize that social mistakes are common and often much less noticeable to others than they feel to you. Reframing your thoughts allows you to take a more compassionate view of yourself, rather than expecting perfection. It’s about acknowledging that you don’t need to be flawless to be accepted, and that others are likely more forgiving than your inner critic suggests.
Facing Social Anxiety: Start with Meaningful Goals
Another key part of managing social anxiety is stepping out of your comfort zone. However, it's not about proving yourself by diving into fear-inducing situations. Instead, focus on approaching situations that align with your personal goals, ones that anxiety has held you back from.
A therapist can help you set realistic, meaningful goals and support you in managing the anticipatory anxiety that often precedes social interactions.
Ready to Take the First Step?
If you're ready to start working through social anxiety and transform your inner dialogue, I invite you to book a free 20-minute consultation today. Let’s work together toward greater emotional and mental well-being.
Further Reading
For more on this topic, I highly recommend: "How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety” by Ellen Hendriksen.
Warmly,
Hannah Peirce
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